I’m currently writing my new book, Change Your Story, Change Your Life, where I explore the concept of shifting from ego to spirit during life’s turning points. Learning how to move from the ego to the spirit is a daily practice for many of us. The shift from ego to spirit tends to happen when our life takes a traumatic turn and we are forced to face a new reality and become more aware. When we respond from the ego, we are coming from a place where the end goal is more self motivated and very often external versus responding from an internal motivation, done for the betterment of self as well as for the betterment of others, and inspiring feelings of peace and fulfillment. When we react from the ego, we often feel threatened and cornered. We defend, we protect, and we shut down to the message. When we respond from the spirit, we detach from the ego and jump into action from a more vulnerable place where the motivation that drives us is more authentic and can lead us to a more fulfilling outcome. Sometimes our trauma and life’s turning points can move us in a more positive direction. We just have to be open to the message.

It is my own experience with some of life’s traumatic moments that drew me to the new HBO series, “Enlightened.” I especially loved a recent episode titled “The Weekend,” written and directed by Mike White. The journey in this episode embodied my own writing about shifting from the ego to the spirit. In it, the central character named Amy (played by Laura Dern) goes through a spiritual transformation after a trauma at work that ends with her being transferred to a different division after sleeping with her boss. After the trauma, Amy takes a trip that transforms her in a spiritual way. She brings the lessons of this trip home with her. In this episode, Amy desperately wants her ex-husband Levi (played by Luke Wilson) to be a part of her awakening. She wants him to want to change like she is doing. Amy suggests that they go on a kayaking trip for the weekend and, despite being against it, Levi acquiesces. There are two sequences of voice-over by Amy that perfectly depict the concept of moving from ego to spirit. Amy’s first V.O. is when they’re kayaking down the river. As Amy watches Eli she muses to herself, “My first love, my husband, my heartbreak, my pain. It feels so easy now, here. You’re not the cheat and the liar. I’m not the nag and the shrew. We’re not old or young. There’s no bitterness or illusions. No need for fear or hope. We’re just spirits drifting through this perfect rift together. We can be free of our sad stories. They float away, until they are like memories of a dream from the night before. Shadows under the water of what’s left in our life, Life is a gift…” At this point, Amy wants Levi to move with her in her spiritual change. Then, she discovers that he brought drugs with him on the trip. She is faced with the reality that he hasn’t changed. Her next V.O. reflects this new awareness. Amy ponders, “You can try to escape the story of your life but you can’t. It happened. The baby died. The dog died. The heart broke. I knew you when you were young. I know your heart broke too. I will know you when we are both old and maybe wise. I hope wise. I know you now, your story. Mine isn’t the one that I would have chosen in the beginning but I’ll take it. It is my story. It’s only mine and it’s not over. There’s time. There is time. There is so much time…”

This episode resonated with me on so many levels. I was blown away by the depth and spirit of the words written by Mike White. The words and the visuals had a magical affect. They spoke to me. They made me remember. They made me forgive. They made me feel. They brought me back to the innocence of the beginning where everything starts. I, like millions of us, know what it is to go through betrayal in a marriage and to feel broken. I know what it is go to through unexpectedly losing a job, although not in the same context as Amy. I realized in watching this episode that the masses go through the emotions felt from these experiences. Our stories are different but our emotions are the same.

In my own story, I used both turning points to move in a more positive direction while redefining a new chapter in my life, and learning that by moving from the ego to the spirit in the choices that I make with my own business and being an author, I have found a much more fulfilling and rewarding path. I hope to inspire others to do the same in my next book, Change Your Story, Change Your Life. I believe that when we detach from our ego and connect with our spirit, we find our voice. Our voice is what leads us to feeling enlightened.

A word that comes to mind in the New Year is purpose. Many people no longer make New Year’s resolutions because they know that resolutions often fall by the wayside. The week between Christmas and New Year’s leaves many of us feeling in limbo. We think about the promises we made at the beginning of the year and sometimes realize we fell short of our expectations. However, it is important to leave our unfulfilled prospects of the past in the past and see the New Year as an opportunity to create or enhance your purpose.

On the topic of purpose, Daniel L. Pink writes in his book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, “The most deeply motivated people – not to mention those who are most productive and satisfied – hitch their desires to a cause larger than themselves.” Daniel goes on to write, “From the moment that human beings first stared into the sky, contemplated their place in the universe, and tried to create something that bettered the world and outlasted their lives, we have been purpose seekers. ‘Purpose provides activation energy for living,’ psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi told me in an interview, ‘I think that evolution has had a hand in selecting people who had a sense of doing something beyond themselves.”

Conceptually, this can be a bit overwhelming to think about. How do we create purpose that goes beyond ourselves? Can we add more meaning to our lives? In the family unit, there is no question as to how you do this. You provide love, security, faith, trust and possibility for the next generation. Your footprints continue on with the lessons that you imparted. Your voice will forever be heard in the hearts of your children

In story, we create purpose by attempting to clearly express the meaning behind our words.  In the book Stealing Fire From The Gods, author, James Bonnett writes, “The purpose of story, then, is to guide us to our full potential and the nature of story is to conceal that purpose in an enticing sugar coat that lures us into the experience.”

When it comes to work, adding purpose is a more complex matter. If we learn to look within ourselves versus seeking our rewards externally, we may discover our true purpose lives there. In his book Drive, Daniel L. Pink refers to this as Type I behavior. Daniel writes, “Type I is fueled more by intrinsic desires than extrinsic ones. It concerns itself less with the external rewards to which an activity leads and more with the inherent satisfaction of the activity itself.” Pink goes on to write, “Ultimately, Type I behavior depends on three nutrients; autonomy, mastery and purpose. Type I behavior is self-directed. It is devoted to becoming better and better at something that matters. And it connects that quest for excellence to a larger purpose.”

I love the terms he chose: autonomy, mastery and purpose. These are great motivators to start our year with. This grants us the ability to create the destiny of our choosing. If we look within ourselves and think about how we can affect the greater good and create more purpose in our lives, we can feel the rebirth of conscious endeavor. If we reflect on these words and focus on their meaning, the potential of finding purpose in our lives can be limitless.

Do you ever wonder what drives you to do what you do? What are the intentions behind your actions? Why is success so important to you? What rewards do you expect to earn? These questions led me to read the book “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us” written by Daniel H. Pink. Daniel writes, “If we want to strengthen our organizations, get beyond our decade of underachievement, and address the inchoate sense that something’s gone wrong in our businesses, our lives, and our world, we need to move from Type X to Type I. Type I behavior is fueled more by intrinsic desires than extrinsic ones. It concerns itself less with the external rewards to which an activity leads and more with the inherent satisfaction of the activity itself.”

I was fascinated by this book because it really spoke to me on a deeper level. I was in the fast paced world of being a corporate climber. I got to the rung of the ladder that I set as my goal. I made it to Vice President. After my climb came to an abrupt stop and my job ended, I started my own company. Suddenly, I was no longer driven by the salary, title, bonus, expenses and the benefits, I was driven by the work. I was driven by building something from scratch, doing the work that I love and seeing the rewards in the clients I help guide. It was a definite transition and one that I had to embrace daily. I discovered that my pride now came from a different place. I had to learn to let go of things that I began to see were connected with my ego. Instead, I had to connect with my spirit and the idea of simplicity. I was doing what I loved and I was succeeding in a whole new way.

Then, recently, I had an opportunity come my way that could have led to a very big job. This job was the dream job that I had previously always seen as my life’s direction. If I was successful at it, like I knew that I could be, it could be huge. However, if I were to accept this job, I would have to close my company, the new adventure I had only just embarked upon a few years ago. I’ve put my heart and soul into this company for three years and I’m anxious to see it continue to grow. It’s showed me the value of intrinsic rewards. I knew my decision had to be about more than just the external security and external rewards this other position could offer me. I had to really look inside myself and decipher what would offer me the most internal security. Even still, the decision was very difficult. Both were amazing opportunities. Ultimately, what I discovered was that, at this moment, I find my greatest internal security in staying with my company and watching it grow. Right now, it’s Jen Grisanti Consultancy Inc. that makes me feel most intrinsically complete.

Daniel goes on to write, “For Type I’s, the main motivations the freedom, challenge, and purpose of the undertaking itself; any other gains are welcome, but mainly as a bonus.” I had found that I was moving into what Daniel describes as the “Type I.” I was inspired when I read, “Type I’s almost always outperform Type X’s in the long run. Intrinsically motivated people usually achieve more than the reward-seeking counterparts. The most successful people, the evidence shows, often aren’t directly pursuing conventional notions of success. They’re working hard and persisting through difficulties because their internal desire to control their lives, learn about the world, and accomplish something that endures.”

Since I know that millions are going through the type of change that I am going through, I figured that these words could inspire and empower you like they did for me. I find that by identifying what drives you internally and what you connect your rewards to, you can make the choices that will lead you to find success both personally and professionally in a whole new way.

Artistic moments occur when we have hit the pinnacle of our craft and it’s these moments that artists strive for. What goes into an artistic moment? It is the time of deepest expression. You are, more than likely, the most free and open that you’ve ever been. You hit a beauty that resonates with your audience at the deepest level. You open yourself up and become the most vulnerable you’ve ever been. It is a time when everything comes together and your truth decides to come out. You connect with your core and, by doing so, you connect with your audience.

There were two moments of artistic brilliance on last week’s episode of “So You Think You Can Dance” (air date 6/30). First, Ashley and the professional dancer Ade stunned the audience and the judges with their dance. I have no doubt that they brought tears to the eyes of millions. Ashley let herself go in the strongest and most beautiful way possible. Her expression hit a rare height. She completely let go in a way that artists rarely do. I felt grateful as a viewer to be included in her moment. The second moment occurred during the final heart-stopping dance performed by Alex and the professional dancer Twitch. Alex is a ballet dancer.  He danced hip hop in this number in a way that made you feel he was a professional hip hop dancer, hitting the peak of several years of training. It was a number watched over and over again by many who experienced it. It was about a patient and his psychiatrist and thematically, it was about getting out of your head. It made your heart so happy that you couldn’t take your eyes off of the set. I have no doubt that everyone who was lucky enough to witness these two moments was transformed in some way. They were inspiring at the deepest level.

As a Story Consultant, these are the places that I like to see writers go to with their craft. You think that dancing and writing are so different but they’re really not. They are both a form of artistic expression where the key is letting go so that your truth can emerge. Both dancing and writing reflect fearlessness and a commitment to expression. The gift is what the audience is left with after the sharing of story.

In TV, I’d have to say there were two artistic moments that particularly stuck out to me this year on network television. One was in the show “The Good Wife” created by Michelle King and Robert King. It was in the episode titled “Heart” and written by Corinne Brinkerhoff. In it, Will (Josh Charles) represents a client whose unborn child requires an in-utero surgical intervention on its heart. Between the case and the personal moments hitting peaks between Alicia (Julianna Marguilies) and Will and Alicia and Peter (Chris Noth), it was one of those moments in story that you will forever remember.

The second memorable moment for me this season was in an episode of “Modern Family” created by Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan. It was an episode titled “En Garde” written by Danny Zucker. In this episode, Jay (Ed O’Neill) and the family go to watch Manny (Rico Rodriguez), Jay’s stepson, in his fencing match. Jay wants to “bring home the hardware,” meaning he wants to experience being a father whose son brings home the trophy. This strikes a chord with Jay’s grown biological son, Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson). Mitchell is bummed because he had a chance to be the best at something – ice skating – until his sister Claire (Julie Bowen) blew it for him by quitting. The story is so universal.  We can all connect with missing a moment in childhood when we were able to reach or exceed the expectations of our parents.

As an artist, you want to strive for these moments so that your audience can truly feel your story and the emotions behind it.

With the year coming to an end, I would like to explore the themes of renewal and clarity.  For every writing career that I have helped launch, two things have occurred. First, I could clearly see the writer’s talent and was able to use my passion to help others see it as well. Secondly, the writer had a clear vision of his/her own success. In the book, THE ANSWER:  Grow Any Business, Achieve Financial Freedom, and Live an Extraordinary Life, John Assaraf & Murray Smith write, “…Events in your business are the reflection of your thoughts, the echo of your own actions and the thinking behind them…You are at cause in your life and in your business.” In the New Year, what do you want to achieve the most? Do you have clarity in your goals?  Can you let go of the past and pursue your goals with renewed passion?

In the book, Shovel It: Kick Ass Advice To Turn Life’s Crap into The Peace and Happiness You Deserve, Debbie Robins writes, “To help create what you want while simultaneously trusting the universe to decide what form it is meant to come in, consider writing what I call a Living Vision…” Debbie explains the “Getting down with the universe” Technique: “Start by having a clear picture in your head of the biggest, boldest, most fulfilling life that you can imagine living. Now, write about who you are and what you’re doing in glorious detail.  Do not describe how you got there. You are there!”

I remember doing a similar exercise with Career Strategist coach, Deb Colden.  The beauty of the exercise lies in the relief you feel after imagining that you have achieved your greatest goal.  During Deb’s session, she had us write down three of our immediate goals.  My goals were 1) Creating a successful seminar career 2) Writing a book proposal and 3) Successfully hosting my first Writers Retreat in Hawaii.  Since I didn’t have a lot of contacts in Hawaii, I knew the retreat would likely be the most challenging of my goals.  However, by doing the exercise, I was able to visualize myself achieving all three goals.  After several months of hard work and daily revisualization, I completed all three of my goals.  My biggest break with the Hawaii retreat came when the Star Bulletin agreed to do a story on my event.  You can do anything you set your mind to doing if you have clarity of goal and visualize your success.

So, how do you create a clear vision?  In The Answer, John and Murray write, “Creating a clear business vision is the first step to your success.” They created what they refer to as the Five Musts:
You must find something that stirs your soul.
You must become excellent at it.
You must recondition your mind to believe that you can have it and achieve it.
You must understand how to make money at it.
You must take daily action.

For the New Year, I encourage everyone to create a clear vision, pursue it with a renewed passion, no matter what losses have happened along the way, and make that vision a reality.  You CAN do it. We each have the potential to create the destiny we choose.

Why is it so important to us to be considered relevant?  What’s behind this need?  Who determines our relevance?  I heard “relevance” used to describe a contender on AMERICAN IDOL – and then when the artist was voted off a few weeks later, I wondered, “Did she suddenly become irrelevant?”

When the world, or our particular industry, determines that we are relevant, how do we maintain that status?

I’ve studied how businesses achieve relevance to help build my brand. I, like all of us in business, want to continue to offer services that are unique, informative, valuable and consumer friendly.  Tim Manners writes in his book RELEVANCE that, “Relevant brands grow because they like their customers and understand them enough to predict what they want.”  He goes on to write, “Relevant brands aren’t afraid to fail, but they never forget what made them successful in the first place.”

I understand the importance of staying in touch with the ingredients that helped my business succeed initially – and to keep an open mind about how to expand or adapt my services as needed.  In such a chaotic time in our economy and, effectively, our lives, we are all searching for greater meaning.  Feeling relevant equals feeling like we have meaning.  My hope is that we learn to build meaning from the inside so that it is reflected in our approach to our relationships with others, our goals and our careers.  Working in a town where our “moment” can be so fleeting, we need to recognize that true value starts from within and continues from within.

My blogs are going to be raw and real.  I feel that the journey into writing is moving beyond the barriers we tend to put up.  What if we could express the truth always?  What if we could live from it?  What are we afraid of?  Writing that digs beneath the surface is often the most fulfilling experience for the audience.  How does the writer succeed at bringing this to the page?  I feel that if you are present for you life and everything that comes with it, you will learn to tap into your universal life moments.

What has happened in your life where your world was turned upside down and your reality shifted??  We all have these moments.  Look into these moments and the emotions that you felt or are feeling.  This is where you draw universal moments/themes for your writing.  An example of some questions you can ask yourself to go deeper include; In this new environment after the strike, are you afraid that there aren’t enough jobs out there for writers?  Does this get in the way of your process?  How does this make you feel?  How has the economy changed your life this past year?  How does this make you feel?  Have you lost a job?  How did this make you feel?  Have you found your soul mate?  If not, how do you feel about this?  If so, how does this make you feel?  Has your idea of security shifted?  If you look back on your life, would you make different choices?  Did you get asked to your prom?  If so, how did it feel when you went?  If not, how did this make you feel?  Have your parents been divorced?  If so, as a child, how did this make you feel?  Have you been divorced?  If so, how do you feel about getting married again?  Have you ever been betrayed?  How did this make you feel?  Have you achieved a big dream?  If so, what hurdles did you hit along the way?  What makes you feel joy?  What emotionally moves you?

I like to push past the barriers we put up and get to the core of what is going on.  Chances are if you deeply feel something so do others.  This is how you get others to connect with your story and with your characters.